


Iris

by refugeofthemind



Series: Destiel Is Music To My Ears [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel's POV, Destiel - Freeform, Free Will, Googoo Dolls, Hell, Iris - Freeform, M/M, Memories in hell, Song Inspired, Song fic, Supernatural - Freeform, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/refugeofthemind/pseuds/refugeofthemind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was merely a foot soldier when Zachariah had approached him. He told him that the Righteous Man needed to be saved, and Castiel agreed to be part of the mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iris

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the song, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. It's one of my favorite song, and I get soo much Destiel feelings from it!
> 
> This is also inspired by my favorite fanvideo of this song.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr7poxbJqRs
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little fic I wrote in the middle of the night.
> 
> Also, crossposted here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9682734/1/Iris

Castiel was merely a foot soldier when Zachariah had approached him. He told him that the Righteous Man needed to be saved, and Castiel agreed to be part of the mission. The other angels were angered and repulsed when told to join. They couldn't fathom the idea of entering Hell, the most unholy of all places simply just to retrieve a mere human soul.  
  
Castiel agreed because he was given orders, and it was his job; his duty to follow them. It wasn't in his nature to disobey, or question instructions. That was mainly why he was chosen for this assignment. So with the blessings of his superior, and without any idea why he was doing this in the first place, he set off on his first ever mission.  
  
His first year in Hell was hard on Castiel. He had heard stories from his brothers about what it was like, but the reality was far worse. His first flight there was met with agonizing pain and blistering burns. His wings had easily caught fire, and his vision was filled with red sparks of the flames. It was hot everywhere, and it became nearly impossible to maneuver his way through the fire. He immediately wanted to leave, to get rid of the stench of the smoke from his system; but orders were orders. He would never, could never go against them. So he pushed on.  
  
In his second year, Castiel learnt a thing or two and adapted. He learnt to keep his wings up high, and not let the tips drag across below, so as to stop the flames from licking at them. He also figured out to keep his true form to a minimum, so that none of the inhabitants there could see him for what he truly was. He drew back his wings as often as he could and curled his grace up into a tiny ball of pulsing energy in his centre. It didn't make traveling in Hell any easier, but it made him less obvious to the rest of the souls there.  
  
Castiel's third year in Hell bore heavily down on him. He knew that he had very little time left to get to the Righteous Man, so he picked up his pace. The soul of the Righteous Man had to be saved at all costs, for he was the first seal. Castiel had been given specific instructions to stop the seal from breaking, and orders were orders. So he spread his wings further, ignoring how each feather started to scorch in the heat.  
  
The fourth year was when the demons started to attack. In his haste to quicken his speed, Castiel had gotten careless and the demons took notice of him. They came in large numbers, and were going straight for the kill. Castiel easily got rid of them with his blades. After all, they were simply demons, an inferior race. But for every one that he killed, ten more took it place. The size of their army only kept increasing, and the exhaustion of his long journey took it's toll on Castiel's strength. It became harder and harder to beat them off and he soon started to feel overwhelmed. The demons showed no mercy and continued scratching and clawing at him. Castiel beat his wings in vain to escape, but by then, his appendages were already almost burnt to a crisp. His wings were blackened in soot and could barely hold his weight any longer.  
  
It was in his fifth year in Hell when Castiel finally saw hope, or rather he finally heard the screams of the Righteous Man. He was satisfied that he had almost come to the end of his mission. Following the sound of the screams, Castiel located the soul. The sight of it made Castiel stumble back in awe. It was shining so bright and pure, and he could hardly look away. As he approached the Righteous Man, he felt like he was back in heaven, except it was better than that. He felt like he was at home, and there was no longer the burden of duties and responsibilities. Castiel reached out and gripped onto the soul tightly.  
  
To his surprise and shock, The Righteous Man struggled back. He pushed Castiel back and screamed in protest, trying to loosen the hold Castiel had on his soul. Castiel held on tighter, and stroked him. "Hush now. Do not be frightened, you have been saved."  
  
"Why?" The Righteous Man had screamed back. "Why me?" What about the others?"  
  
Castiel looked around to where the man was pointing, and suddenly, for the first time in those five years, he noticed the other souls that were trapped in there. All of them were in several stages of torture, be it being the victim or the torturer themselves. Every single one of them were screaming their throats raw in agony. They were clawing their way towards him, not to harm him; but to seek help instead.  
  
Castiel had been strictly told to retrieve the soul of The Righteous Man only and leave immediately without touching any other souls. But orders were simply just orders, and Castiel chose not to obey them.  
  
When Castiel first laid his hand on The Righteous Man, he was lost and he disobeyed. Cradling the man's soul carefully, he reached out and took another human soul under his wings. It was the soul of a young female child which quivered in extreme gratitude. She looked at him with such reverence that the sudden overwhelming feeling of shame clouded him. Castiel didn't deserve her gratitude, he had hardly done anything. Instead, it was The Righteous Man who convinced him to help. The journey back home was full of questions that would not leave Castiel alone in peace.  
  
The moment Castiel reached heaven, his superiors took one look at the soul of the child and roared in rage. Zachariah, Uriel and Hester swooped down upon him and snatched the child from his grasp. Despite his screams, they took away the souls of The Righteous Man and dragged him away for re-education.  
  
"Please!" Castiel begged. "Let me be with him!"  
  
Castiel missed the burning comfort of the soul he had grown accustomed to, and the absence of it was far greater than any other form of torture that the other angels had punished him with. They were disappointed in his disobedience and were determined to stop him from ending up exactly like Anael. They bore down on him heavily, but Castiel stayed strong. He refused to give in and conform, because he finally understood what the angels were missing out on. The Righteous Man had taught him so much about humanity, that he finally understood why his Father loved them so much.  
  
So Castiel endured through every cut, and slash of his brothers, every burning pain that they inflicted upon him. His Grace diminished slowly in strength, but his determination still held strong.  
  
But everything changed when news of Uriel's and Zachariah's new duties floated around. When Castiel heard from the whispers of his brothers that they would be in charge of The Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, his spirit practically broke down. He struggled and cried; begged to be chosen instead. Castiel knew he had to grab at the chance to be with the soul of The Righteous Man again. He couldn't seem to forget about how comforting the glow of his soul was, and how it made Castiel so close to his own Father.  
  
The other angels soon figured out his weakness, and used it to their advantage. They dangled the opportunity to be Dean Winchester's guardian in front of him, and Castiel broke. He gave in and lost his spirit and determination. He soon agreed to whatever they said, just to appease them.  
  
One day, Zachariah finally came to Castiel. He told him that he had earned his next assignment, but he had to report everything back to the angels. Castiel gave his word, and in doing so, also gave away his short-lived freedom.  
  
Dean Winchester was made his charge, and Castiel was overjoyed. He swooped down onto earth as fast as he could and in his hurry, did not bother to occupy a vessel. He located Dean almost immediately, recognizing the familiar glow of his soul. He tried talking to him, but Castiel forgot that he was angel, and Dean was a human. His true voice was beyond the capability of a human being, and to his disappointment, Dean did could not understand him.  
  
And then, a few moments later, he could feel the pull of his grace with a summoning spell. He struggled back and tried warning the human that communicating with him was unwise. But the female insisted, and before he could hold back his powers, the pulse of his grace impaired her vision, and rendered her blind.  
  
Castiel then realized what he needed to do and impatiently went on a search for a vessel. It was hard work looking for one that could accommodate and agree to housing his grace, but it was soon done. Perfect timing too, for once again, he felt a similar pull of his vessel and grace. It was another spell, but this time, he could feel that it was Dean Winchester behind it. Castiel felt excited to  finally meet the man again. He appeared almost instantaneously at the barn and walked towards the soul he had longed for.  
  
To his shock, Dean did not recognize him but instead plunged the blade of a knife into his chest. Castiel easily pulled it out, but still could not believe that the other man could not remember who he was. He tried drawing his wings to prove that he was, in fact, an angel, but still Dean did not remember him. Instead, the man looked at him with so much suspicion and bitterness, that Castiel wanted to reach out to him and reawaken his memories.  
  
"Careful, Castiel." Uriel's voice floated in his mind, warning him telepathically. "Your job is to simply watch him, not make friends with him. If I find that you've become too close to your charge, I will take over instead."  
  
Castiel immediately drew back his hand and resisted the urge to remind Dean of himself. Instead, he tempered down his feelings of restlessness and joy upon being so near to his soul, as he did not want to upset his superior anymore.  
  
Castiel had sacrificed his freedom and his own free will to be Dean Winchester's guardian, and he knew that his actions only belonged to the heavenly host. He was no longer allowed to make his own decisions and had no more control over his mind. Instead, he obeyed the instructions of his superiors, word for word, and relayed whatever information to his charge. After all, orders were orders.  
  
He soon went back to his old way of not questioning and blindly obeying Zachariah. He completely forgot about the exhilaration of freedom and free will. He did what he was told to, and nothing could sway him from his duty, not even Anna who had returned, nor Sam Winchester. He was back to being an obedient soldier of heaven.  
  
Until, The Righteous Man spoke to him again. He talked to him about the significance of humanity, and how every single one of his Father's creation was worth saving. The Righteous Man spoke of the freedom of choices, and the joy of feeling genuine human emotions. Memories of the souls back in hell clouded his mind, and Castiel realized that he was no longer a hammer. He started to have doubts, and questions. He began to sway towards the side of humanity, and soon found himself fighting his own brothers and sisters, who were grossly misguided in their intentions.  
  
Castiel, once again, had his freedom returned, and he could only thank The Righteous Man for everything that had changed for him.


End file.
